So I’ve decided to change the title of my blog. I’m no longer going to be ‘well this is my messed up mind’ because I don’t feel like it suits me any more; I don’t want to automatically come across as a negative blog, I want to try to be positive, I want to fill others with positivity. Of course, there shall probably be the odd negative post about how I’m feeling, but that’s normal for me because I have a mental illness, and I shouldn’t be ashamed to admit that any more, nobody should.
So I got the title ‘Living Between the Gaps’ from a book I have to read for my Literature A-level named The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood. It was just any ordinary sentence, but alike many random sentences, this one just seemed to get stuck in my head. It just resonated with me, and so the decision came into my mind that it had to be the new title for my blog; if I am going to accept my mental illness and try to live the best life I can I need to stop filling not only myself with negativity, but also my social media, including this blog.
Since I’m here I thought I’d also do a brief update of what’s been happening in my life.
I’d finished school, and wasn’t too keen on staying home all the time due to family issues, so I was offered the chance to volunteer at my school to help some of the other children that have special needs. At first, I wasn’t sure whether to accept this offer or not, but I’m so glad I did. As someone who has always found it easy to accept those different to myself, I knew it wouldn’t be difficult for me to be able to help them and show empathy, but I didn’t realise how beneficial it could also be to me.
I suffer with a variety of anxiety disorders such as OCD, and a common piece of advice given by therapists is ‘distract yourself’. At first, I personally felt that it would never work, and never gave it the chance, but since being rushed off my feet with all of these children I haven’t had much time to think about the things going on at home, or the thoughts in the darker corners of my mind.
I just don’t know what I’ll do when everyone goes on their summer holidays. What will I have to distract myself? What if something bad happens at home? What if I get too bad and can’t take it any more?
I haven’t really been thinking too long about this to be honest; probably a mere five minutes. What if I used this blog for a variety of other issues? You’ve seen the social media’s reaction to events such as the Yulin Festival, and you’ve seen petitions created on websites such as change.org and avaaz.org
What if I commented on them and gave more information about what they’re actually talking about? Would that be interesting for anyone? I feel that I have lots of view points and opinions on a wide range of different topics and really believe that I need to share them, whether to argue my case or to show others that they’re not alone with their opinions.
Feedback would be appreciated, but I might just do it anyway 🙂