So I’ve decided to change the title of my blog. I’m no longer going to be ‘well this is my messed up mind’ because I don’t feel like it suits me any more; I don’t want to automatically come across as a negative blog, I want to try to be positive, I want to fill others with positivity. Of course, there shall probably be the odd negative post about how I’m feeling, but that’s normal for me because I have a mental illness, and I shouldn’t be ashamed to admit that any more, nobody should.
So I got the title ‘Living Between the Gaps’ from a book I have to read for my Literature A-level named The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood. It was just any ordinary sentence, but alike many random sentences, this one just seemed to get stuck in my head. It just resonated with me, and so the decision came into my mind that it had to be the new title for my blog; if I am going to accept my mental illness and try to live the best life I can I need to stop filling not only myself with negativity, but also my social media, including this blog.
Sometimes, my thoughts come out as a narration; “and I slowly take a sip of water” etc etc.
It doesn’t particularly have to be anything interesting, as you can tell from above. I could be doing a simple task like brushing my teeth and suddenly my life becomes a story.
I’m not entirely sure if this is normal. Of course, I’ve never experienced anything different, because I’ve always been like this; I’ve always had the odd narration in my head, overcomplicating simple tasks like walking down the stairs, making it dramatic.
I think the positive thing about this narration in my head though, is that it is rarely negative. Usually if my mind wanders off (which is very often), the vision shall be horrific, depressing, you name it, but with this narration it seems to be more positive. Positivity is a rare thing for me, so I guess it should be great to feel something different for a change.
In other news, I’m feeling kind of okay at the moment. Therapy is going well, I’m not at school, I guess I kind of get to be in my own world a little bit more. In a bit more of a comfortable state of mind, I guess.
So I guess I’m doing okay.